Vigils
by Leah Kate
Summary: Jack, Kate, and Sawyer head into the jungle to salvage what's left in the cockpit but are faced with an unexpected emergency meanwhile, Sayid and Shannon and Charlie and Claire deal with their own problems back at the beach.
1. Default Chapter

_I've already posted this story at 2 Lost sites, but my friend keeps bugging me to post it here since this is her favorite fanfiction site. It was written a few weeks ago, after "Do No Harm."_

* * *

**CHAPTER ONE**

"You taking a trip, or something?" Kate's voice came from behind Jack, slightly over to the left near the spring. He raised his head up from his partially packed backpack and smiled at her.

"You could call it that." He looked glad to see her, but lurking behind the outward expression was something that almost appeared to be guilt, or at least the expectation of guilt, as if he'd been caught doing something he was slightly ashamed of and would prefer to keep from her.

"Any place in particular, or is this just your standard safari, vision quest type-thing?"

"Not exactly," he said, looking amused. "You remember the cockpit - the front section of the plane, where we went to look for the transceiver?"

Kate's face clearly registered her none-too-pleasant memories of this excursion. "How could I forget?"

Jack sat down, pulling the drawstring tight in his pack, then looking at her. "We never went back there after that. I know it was just a small section, but there'll still be luggage, carry-ons, things like that. There's a chance of finding some more medicine, alcohol...even clothing would come in handy. Fabric won't last long out here, especially when we're all wearing the same things over and over." He looked pointedly at her green top as he said this, and then seemed embarrassed. She tried to suppress a smile as he continued. "At this point we need everything we can get."

Kate seemed to agree, but then turned thoughtful and looked slightly disturbed. "Jack...the bodies."

"I know. I don't know why we didn't burn the cockpit along with the fuselage. It was stupid." He seemed angry at himself. "It's not gonna be pretty. But if there's a chance there are usable supplies there..." his voice trailed off as if the conclusion was obvious.

"You'll be gone overnight?"

"Just tonight. I should be back by tomorrow afternoon."

"Is that...I mean, do you think that's a good idea?" She looked concerned. "What if something happens here?" She regretted saying it almost immediately. The look of guilt reappeared on his face, along with a tinge of annoyance.

"It's just one night. I think everybody can manage to keep themselves alive for one night, don't you?" he spoke almost sarcastically, and it sounded unusual coming from him.

"Of course." She was conciliatory now, trying to retract the accusation that had been lurking in her words. "I didn't mean..."

"I know." He interrupted her, regretful. "I'm sorry. It's just...Look, regardless of the supplies, I really need to do this, Kate." He looked into her eyes, trying to make her see his meaning without having to convey too much personal information. "I need to get away from here, from all of this...even if it's just for one night. I'm not sure I can explain why."

"I understand." She looked as if she truly did. For a moment she seemed tentative, wanting to say something, but unsure how to go about it. He waited in silence till she finally voiced what was on her mind. "I don't suppose you'd want company?"

"Sayid's going. I don't know how much I'll find, but I'll need help carrying it back. And considering what happened last time, I can trust him to be able to hold his own if things get bad."

He seemed almost embarrassed by this admission, and Kate couldn't resist. "I guess I didn't realize you two felt that way about each other."

Jack laughed, nodding his head in admiration of the joke. "Funny."

Kate kept smiling at him, then seemed to come to some kind of decision. She spoke with an air of finality. "Well, it looks like you've got all your bases covered. Good luck." She paused, on the verge of leaving. Her voice softening, she looked at him with concern. "Be careful out there, Jack."

"I will. I'll let you know when I get back."

Nodding, she turned to go back to the beach. He watched her walk off, apparently torturing himself with some kind of dilemma. He seemed torn between choices, but as if he knew which impulse would win out, and was already pissed at himself for giving in to it. It was too strong, however, and sighing, he stood up and took a few steps after her. "Kate!"

She turned back with a questioning air. He ran his hand over the back of his head in perplexity, but his mind was already made up. "If you really want to come...It's not gonna be any fun, but we could use the help. If you're up for it, that is."

She seemed to be considering, but like him, it was patently obvious that her mind was already made up. "You sure?"

"Of course."

"Okay, then. Let me just go get some stuff together."

They looked at each other for a few seconds longer, Jack worried, Kate triumphant, and both of them unnaturally animated, especially considering the nature of the excursion.

* * *

As Kate passed out of the cave area, Sayid entered from a slightly different angle. 

"Jack, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Yeah." Jack finally tore his eyes away from Kate's retreating figure. "What's going on? Where's your stuff?" he added, noticing Sayid's empty hands.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about. I know we agreed that I would accompany you, but... I was wondering if it would be possible to push it back for a few days."

Jack looked slightly annoyed at this. "Why? What's the problem?"

"It's Shannon."

Immediately, Jack's irritation was masked over as he transitioned into doctor mode. He asked with concern, "She okay?"

"It's nothing physical. I doubt there is anything you could do for her." He hesitated, not wanting to bring up the subject he was going to be forced to bring up, but seeing no way around it. "Today is..._was_...his birthday."

"Boone." The guilty look was back on Jack's face again, in full force.

"Yes. She's trying to pretend that everything is fine, but...it's not. I can tell. I would prefer to remain with her tonight. I'm sure you understand."

Jack, looking distracted, nodded. "No, you're right. You should stay with her. I'm just a little worried that Kate and I won't be able to carry everything back on our own." Actually, what he was worried about was the prospect of being alone with her for an entire night, and what might (or might not) happen, but he wouldn't admit this.

Sayid seemed surprised. "Kate is going?"

"I figured another pair of hands couldn't hurt."

"Ah." Sayid looked as if he found this vaguely amusing, but he didn't press the issue. "I'm very sorry. I'm sure you can find somebody else, if you ask around."

"Somebody else for what?" Charlie entered the clearing bearing empty water bottles, headed toward the spring.

Sayid and Jack looked at each other, but neither spoke. Finally, Jack admitted, "Kate and I are going back to the cockpit to get the last of the luggage. Sayid wants to stay with Shannon, so..."

Charlie interrupted eagerly. "You need someone else to go? I can do it!"

Jack reluctantly began, "Look, Charlie, it'll be an all-night thing, and it's gonna be pretty rough when we get to the plane..." The look on Charlie's face stopped him, however. He'd seen it before, and he couldn't do this to him again. What the hell. "But if you really think you want to go..."

"I do! I mean, I'd like to help."

Jack sighed, giving in completely. "All right, go get your stuff."

"Okay!" Charlie started off, and then turned back as a thought occurred to him. "Hey, it'll be just like the first time around, with the three of us, you know!" His expression changed. "Only hopefully without all the screaming...and the blood...and that thing that was chasing us." By the time he reached the end of this catalogue, he looked much less excited, and stood lost in memory.

Jack recalled him. "Charlie?"

"Right!" He took off again, and Jack and Sayid followed him with slightly bemused gazes.

Sayid turned to Jack. "Should be an interesting trip."

* * *

As Charlie headed towards his campsite, he noticed Claire standing over to the side with the baby. Sawyer was with her. For some reason, this annoyed him. He stopped, telling himself that he should let Claire know where he was off to so that she wouldn't worry. 

"Howdy, Pops. This kid don't even look like you."

"What?" Charlie felt his ears getting red. "He's not mine!" God, he hated the bastard.

Sawyer just smiled, and Charlie was a little irritated to discover that Claire was trying to suppress a smile as well.

"I need to talk to Claire." He tried to sound calm, but he could hear the annoyed edge in his voice, and it grated on him.

"There she is," Sawyer gestured smugly.

"What is it, Charlie?" Claire seemed slightly worried as she shifted the baby to her other arm.

He glared at Sawyer, but apparently he wasn't leaving. Trying to ignore him, he turned his attention to Claire. "I just wanted to let you know that I'm going with Jack and Kate to get some things from the cockpit, a few miles from here. I'll be gone overnight," he said, somewhat proudly.

Sawyer seemed surprised. "Jack asked _you_?" He shook his head. "Gotta hand it to him, he sure knows how to make himself look good in front of the ladies. Guess Hurley musta been busy, huh?"

Charlie turned to him, on the verge of losing his temper. "For your information, he asked Sayid first. But he can't go, so I volunteered. Some people around here actually want to help out, as hard as that is to believe."

Ignoring the last part, Sawyer seemed intrigued. "And why can't he go?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but he wants to stay with Shannon. Any other questions?" The angrier he got, the more amused and patronizing Sawyer appeared. It was absolutely infuriating.

Claire had been quiet throughout this interchange, and she seemed bothered and slightly preoccupied. "But Charlie...isn't it really..dangerous? I mean, look what happened the first time you went out there."

Charlie watched her closely, completely forgetting about Sawyer. "Of course it's dangerous. But everywhere here is dangerous. Right?"

She tried to smile, but couldn't quite pull it off. "That's true."

Sawyer, butting in again, spoke to Charlie good-humoredly. "Don't you worry about Ma, here. I'll keep an eye on her." Sawyer winked in Claire's direction, and she looked equally touched and unnerved by this declaration.

Trying his best to block Sawyer out, Charlie looked at her softly. "You want me to stay here, Claire? I mean, I told Jack I'd go...but.."

She tried to brush off her fears, saying in a forced light voice. "No..I couldn't ask you to do that."

Sawyer, finally quiet, watched this exchange with interest. Charlie stared at Claire intently as she wearily shifted the baby yet again, then he looked at the ground. Obviously disappointed but firm in his resolution, he raised his head again, looking at her. "I won't go."

She started to protest, but stopped, biting her lip. Gratefully, she met his eyes. "Thank you."

Letting a few seconds of silence pass by, Sawyer spoke. "Well, guess that spot opened up again, then, huh? Looks like I just might have to tag along, see what that cockpit has to offer. The doc thinks he's got a right to all of it, he's out of his mind. Plus, he can't really say no, seein' as how you and Ali are tied to those apron strings."

The anger was coming back again now. "Yeah, well, I'm sure there won't be any problem then. After all, it's not like anybody here cares whether you stay or not."

The dig failed to hit home, however, and Sawyer said unconcernedly, "Course not. Like you said, my woman's goin' along."

"Your _what_?" Kate stood a few paces behind them, her full backpack already on as she made her way back to the caves.

Charlie, appearing triumphant at this turn of events and looking gleefully at Kate's incredulous expression, turned to Sawyer. "Nice one, mate. Enjoy the trip." Placing his hand on Claire's elbow, he guided her further down the beach.

Kate and Sawyer stood looking at each other; Sawyer playful, Kate antagonistic. "Speak of the she-devil. I hear you're off on a little campin' trip."

"And let me guess. You want to come."

"Don't have much choice. Turns out nobody else wants to be the third wheel on your date with the doc. But you know me, Freckles. Anything to help out my fellow man." He grinned broadly at her.

She sighed and closed her eyes, smiling grimly. "Does Jack know?"

"I'll let you deliver the good news. Meet you there in ten minutes."

Kate watched him walk off, feeling that same faint flutter of excitement as she had earlier at the caves, and trying unsuccessfully to tamp it down. With both Jack and Sawyer going, this had the potential to be a disaster of unfathomable proportions. So why on earth was a part of her looking forward to it?


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

"You've got to be kidding me." Jack looked at Kate closely, as if there were actually a chance she might be pulling his leg.

"Nope. Said he wanted to help."

"What about Charlie? I thought he really wanted to go."

She shrugged her shoulders in answer. "Guess something must have come up."

He looked away, sighing in exasperation. "Perfect. That's just perfect."

He wandered over to the spring and began angrily dunking bottles of water under, filling them for the trip. Kate followed him, sympathetic but also not quite serious. "Come on, Jack. I'm sure I'll regret saying this, but he's really not that bad. Nothing you can't handle."

He glanced up with a slight laugh. "Look, I know you've got a thing for the guy, but I'm just not sure..."

She interrupted him, loudly. "What? I don't have a 'thing' for him! What's that supposed to mean?" Kate seemed unnaturally embarrassed, practically blushing.

"I just mean that you don't hate him as much as I do."

She rolled her eyes. "You don't hate him. You hardly even know him."

"And you do?" She looked away. "You know what, don't answer that," he said in an attempt at lightness.

She could see what even the faintest traces of jealousy did to him. After a few seconds of silence, she ventured, "Maybe it'd be better if I didn't go."

"Don't even think about it. You might be the only thing that'll keep us from killing each other." He seemed calmer now, as if he was accepting the change of plans.

She smiled. "I'm not sure I want that much responsibility."

"Not interruptin' anything, am I?" Sawyer came noisily into the clearing, tossing his bag down beside Jack.

"Would it matter?" Jack asked flatly.

Sawyer shook his head and smiled as if he had expected this answer. "I can see I bring out the best in you, Doc. Try not to act too excited, now." He filled up his own water bottles as he spoke. "Can't let you two have all the fun, can I? I been runnin' low on some things myself...figure it's about time for a little shopping trip."

"Sawyer, this isn't an opportunity for looting, okay? We're trying to salvage what's left before it's completely destroyed," Jack said in an irritated voice.

Standing up and replacing his bottles, Sawyer looked at him thoughtfully, with a gleam of mirth in his eyes. "Got a question for you. You mind explainin' to me how it is that when I take stuff from the plane, it's called looting, but when you do it, it's called salvage?"

Kate looked expectantly from one to the other as the pause drew out. Jack seemed honestly at a loss for words and extremely pissed off by the fact. Turning and hefting his pack, he walked off toward the jungle. "Let's go."

Sawyer smiled victoriously at Kate, who tried her best not to smile back. He raised his arm in the direction Jack had gone. "Ladies first." He followed after her, and the three of them headed single file down the path that led in the direction of the cockpit.

* * *

She was still sitting there, in the same position she'd been in for hours. It wasn't as if she was normally active - far from it. But she never just stared out at the ocean like that, especially not with that look in her eyes. He'd wanted to give her some space, but finally, he couldn't stand it anymore. He approached slowly and lowered himself down beside her on the sand. Waiting a few seconds until she turned her eyes toward him, he finally spoke.

"How are you feeling, Shannon?"

"I'm okay." She looked back out at the waves.

"Really? Because you have been sitting here for a long time. I don't want to intrude, but maybe...talking would help?"

"What is there to say?" There was an edge of anger in her voice that was much deeper than her habitual anger at sand fleas and accusations of laziness. It was something he hadn't heard there before.

"All right, then. Perhaps it would be best not to talk," he said softly. After a few seconds, she looked at him again.

"You know what I got him last year for his birthday?"

"What?"

"Nothing. You know what he got me?" She smiled spitefully. Sayid waited, unsure what to say. "This beautiful antique picture frame...it must have cost a fortune."

"That was a nice gift."

"I pawned it," she said bitterly. "I fucking pawned it."

"Shannon...you shouldn't do this to yourself."

"Why not?" she turned to him angrily, tears standing brightly in her eyes.

Sayid thought for a second. "He wouldn't want you to."

She laughed with hostility. "Yeah, well...I never gave a damn what he wanted. Why start now?"

They sat in silence for awhile as he tried to think of something else to say. What would make her feel better? Gingerly, he made a suggestion. "Maybe there is something you could do...in his memory. Can you think of something that he would appreciate?"

"No," she said quickly.

"Think about it," he said, not giving up.

She continued to glare out at the waves, but after a minute or so her face softened. She almost smiled, obviously lost in memory. "There _is _one thing."

He looked at her questioningly.

* * *

Charlie walked up to Claire's campsite area, delicately balancing more fruit than it was possible to carry easily. He peeked over the top of the pile playfully. "Anybody hungry?"

Claire didn't glance up from the baby. She was kneeling over him as he slept on a towel in the shade, protected from the rays of the sinking sun. "You have good eyes, don't you, Charlie?"

"Uh.." he set the fruit down. "I suppose so, yeah. You want me to thread a needle or something?"

"Come and look at this." Her voice was tight with carefully restrained worry. Glancing up at him as he kneeled down beside her, she

tried hard to sound light and casual. "I'm sure I'm just being a paranoid mother. It's probably nothing, don't you think?"

He looked perplexed. "You haven't shown me yet, Claire."

"Oh." She seemed distracted. "Then you can't see it? That's...that's good." She bobbed her head up and down. "It's probably just in my head." She looked back down at the sleeping baby, and Charlie followed her gaze. Searching closely, he saw with growing alarm that the infant's skin was covered in a faint tracery of red patterned like a spider's web. With a shaking finger, he delicately traced one of the lines.

"You see it?" Claire seemed both relieved and terrified at this.

"Yeah..." he said softly, trying not to worry her. "Looks like some kind of rash or something."

"Do you think it's serious?"

He kept looking at the baby, recalling with a sinking feeling that Jack wouldn't be back till tomorrow.

"Charlie?"

He looked at her, feeling completely useless.

"I don't know, Claire. I don't know anything about babies."

On the verge of tears, she looked back down at the sleeping boy. "Neither do I."

* * *

"How much farther?" Sawyer called out testily.

"Almost there. Another twenty minutes or so. Why, you need a rest?" Jack asked.

"I'm fine," he said, breathing heavily. "Just worried about the lady, is all."

"Yeah, you're a real gentleman," Jack muttered.

"What's that? Listen cowboy, I don't know what the hell your problem is...Ow, son-of-a-bitch!" Sawyer suddenly collapsed onto the ground, holding his foot.

Kate put her bag down, concerned. "What happened?"

She looked at the bottom of his shoe, then up at Jack. "It's a thorn. Went all the way through his shoe."

"Hey, I'm right here, you know!" Pissed off, he stretched his leg out painfully.

"So pull it out. We need to keep moving if we want to have some daylight left to look around." Jack seemed unimpressed.

"Pull it out? Easy for you to say! I don't see anything sharp stickin' out of your boots!"

Kate sighed, exasperated. "I'll do it." Before he could protest, she yanked the thorn out quickly and held it up in front of him. "See? It's not even that big."

"Like hell it's not."

"I've seen bigger."

At this, Jack burst out laughing. Sawyer glared at him. Standing up, Kate tossed the thorn aside. "Come on, let's keep going."

Muttering to himself, Sawyer limped after them. "Don't it just figure. Out of all the places to step on this god-forsaken island, I gotta step on the one thorn that goes through my shoe. Yeah, what else is new? Guess I shoulda expected it."

Jack called back, "Maybe you should stop whining...you might conserve some energy."

"Yeah, maybe you should shut the hell up!"

Jack shook his head. "Just like my father."

Sawyer, startled a little, remembered the man he'd met in Sydney. "Not quite," he replied sarcastically.

Jack turned, questioning. "And how would you know that?"

Kate stopped too, looking at him closely, as if she sensed something.

"Because," he said, trying to back away from the secret he'd almost let slip. "If I'd 'a had a kid with his head up his own ass as far as yours is, I'd have drowned him in the bathtub."

Jack nodded, as if he'd expected his. "I'm sure you'll make a great dad." He glanced at Kate before walking on, and was happy to see that she looked disgusted. Sawyer started to say something to her, but there was no way to explain with Jack around. She finally turned and walked off.

As they approached the top of the hill a few moments later, Kate broke away and stood at the edge of a ravine, looking out over the green, verdant hills of the island spread out below with a faraway gaze in her eyes. Jack, noticing she wasn't following anymore, turned to watch her. Sawyer did the same.

"It's beautiful, isn't it? I mean, if we weren't stuck here...if it wasn't like a prison, wouldn't you think it was the most beautiful place you'd ever seen?" The breeze lifted her hair gently, blowing strands of it across her face.

They watched her without speaking, barely breathing. Both looked as if they thought something was beautiful, but it certainly wasn't the view.

Finally breaking her gaze, she turned to them, smiling a little self-consciously. "Guess we should keep moving."

The three of them trudged on, nearly there.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

The broken, slanting nose of the plane loomed up ahead of them ominously, like some bizarre ancient monument forgotten and left to decay in the jungle.

"Jesus," Sawyer breathed.

Like visitors to a memorial site, the three of them stood there quietly for a moment, recalling once again the horror of the accident and the unprecedented, almost unreal, situation they now found themselves in. Seeing a part of the plane again, after all these months, brought it hurtling back with raw force.

Kate broke the silence, tentatively. "I don't smell anything."

Sawyer looked at her like she was crazy. "What were you expectin', a buffet?"

She rolled her eyes. "I mean the bodies. Shouldn't it be kind of...overpowering from here? The smell?" She turned to Jack, confused.

"Maybe not. It depends."

"On what?" Sawyer asked.

"On how badly decomposed they are, what types of animals have gotten to them. There're a lot of things that eat rotting flesh, not just bugs. I mean, it's possible the boars could have gotten in there, maybe some carrion birds...the bacteria _alone _out here..."

Kate held her hand up, stopping him. She looked a little green around the gills. "I have an idea. Let's just wait and let it be a surprise." She moved slowly toward the plane.

"Too bad, doc. I bet that decomposing flesh story worked on all the girls back home, huh?" Sawyer, grinning, followed Kate to the opening of the wreckage.

* * *

Shannon turned her head from the water to look at Sayid, the remaining traces of anger melting away from her expression. He was relieved that she'd thought of something she could do for her brother. Anything that would make her feel better, he would be willing to help with, no matter what it took.

"What is it?"

"There's this book...I think it's about...rabbits, or something. English rabbits?"

"Watership Down."

"Yeah. Have you read it?"

"No." He smiled. "But I am familiar with it. Go on."

"It was his favorite book. Ever since he was a kid. He took it with him everywhere." She rolled her eyes slightly. "Kinda stupid, right? I mean, it's a kid's book. He was way too old for it."

"I don't think it's stupid," he said gently.

"Yeah...well, I did. I used to make fun of him." She stopped, looking upset again, but tried to focus. Sighing, she continued. "Anyway. He used to always try to get me to read it when we were kids. But I wasn't much of a reader. Big surprise, there, huh?"

"I wouldn't have thought that," Sayid said gallantly.

"You're a bad liar," she said, almost laughing. They stared at each for a few seconds intimately.

"What makes you think of this now? The book, I mean?"

"He had it with him, on the plane. It's here. Sawyer has it. Remember when everybody thought he had my inhalers?"

Sayid looked down, obviously still disturbed by recollections of his part in that needless torture. "All too well, I'm afraid."

"Well, that was why. They thought he had Boone's luggage. But it turned out it just washed up on the beach. He didn't even try to get his book back. All he cared about was my stupid inhalers." She tried hard to hold back tears, putting her hand to her face for a second.

"Shannon." Sayid placed his hand lightly on her back. "Do you want the book?"

She looked at him and whispered, "I want to read it."

He nodded. "Then we'll get it."

"Wait a second. It's not gonna be that easy. Sawyer has it, remember? It's not like he'll just hand it over."

"I didn't plan on negotiating. The book belongs to you. He has no right to it. But, as it turns out, we don't have to worry. He isn't here. He went with Jack and Kate to retrieve some things from the wreckage out in the jungle."

"The three of them went? _Together_?"

"If they haven't returned by tomorrow evening, we'll have to assume they've killed each other."

She laughed, and he felt an enormous amount of relief at her improved mood.

Standing up, he held out his hand to her. "Let's go get your book."

* * *

"I think it's getting worse," Claire said, leaning over the baby with her nose practically on his abdomen.

"I think you need to stop looking at it for a minute, Claire. It hasn't changed."

"Are you sure?"

He wasn't. In fact, he was almost positive it had gotten worse, but it wouldn't do much good to tell her that. "Yes," he said firmly.

Ignoring his advice, she turned back and resumed her close scrutiny.

He sighed. "Claire."

She forced herself to look away, turning her vision out to the waves. "Have you ever seen anything like this before? Anything at all?"

"I haven't been around kids much." He thought for a second. "There was this one baby, belonged to a girl I used to know when I was in Driveshaft. It had some weird skin problems after it was born. I think."

"What caused it?"

He looked as if he didn't want to say.

"Charlie?"

"Drugs. She was a drug addict," he said reluctantly.

"What are you trying to say!"

"What? Nothing!" his voice became comically squeaky.

"I've never done drugs in my life!" Claire was seemingly on the verge of a breakdown.

"I didn't say you had! _Claire_!"

"I can't believe you would even say that," she sniffled.

Surprised, he sat silently, gradually seeing the humor in the situation but knowing she was not in the frame of mind to join in. He stood up.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to get something. For the baby."

"What? A jar of invisible ointment? I don't think that's going to work this time."

Wounded, he stared at her for a few seconds with a hurt look, then turned and slowly walked off.

She was immediately apologetic. "Charlie!" He didn't turn, however, and after a few seconds she resumed her observation of the baby.

* * *

"Lift me up," Kate commanded Sawyer, putting her hands on the edge of the wreck's jagged gap, now tilted about five feet off the ground after its encounter with whatever had killed the pilot months before.

Sawyer raised his eyebrows. "Yes, _ma'am_." He formed a platform for her right foot, lifting her leg up as she hoisted herself onto the edge.

"Hey, Kate, wait a second! What are you doing?" Jack said as he came down the incline.

"I'm going inside," she said, as it was obvious. "Isn't that why we came out here?"

"Just...hold on a second," he replied, raising his hand up to motion to her to wait. He removed his backpack and withdrew a gun. "Let me check it out first, make sure it's safe."

"Give me the gun, I'll do it."

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why not?"

"Because you don't have any idea what's in there."

"Neither do you."

"Kate." He stared at her, not kidding around anymore.

She wasn't backing down either, however. She looked at the ground, and after a few seconds said in a low voice, "How many times have you fired a gun, Jack?"

He smiled a very faint, almost bitter smile, and slightly shook his head. "How many times have _you _fired a gun, Kate?"

"Don't answer that, Freckles. Believe she asked you first, didn't she?" Sawyer said savagely.

"I don't think anybody wanted your opinion," Jack responded.

"Yeah, well, I guess you forgot to use your secret best-friend language, then, because I'm standin' right here. Now why don't you just give her the damn gun so we can get on with this?"

Jack looked at Kate again, testing her, hoping she would reconsider and back down. She stared at the ground, avoiding his eyes, waiting. It was like she needed to win this for some reason, to prove something. Disappointed in her, and more than a little pissed off, he walked over and held the gun up towards her. "Fine. If that's what you want...it's all yours."

She reached out slowly, and took the gun, looking regretful but with a faint trace of victory. Turning to crawl through the opening, she looked back at them. "You coming?"

Sawyer looked at Jack, knowing the invitation was intended to pacify him, but he didn't respond. "Right behind you." He hoisted himself onto the edge, crawling in behind her. Jack waited a few seconds, then followed.

Inside the plane, Sawyer stood up behind Kate, bracing himself on the tilting aisle and looking around. "God damn," he said quietly. "I guess that explains the smell. Or lack of it."

Kate swallowed. "Yeah."

The human remains were now nothing but shriveled, blackened skeletons, barely recognizable as once living people, their flesh entirely consumed by...God only knew what. In a grotesque mockery of their situation, most were still wearing their lap belts, and a useless, futile oxygen mask dangled in front of each.

"Let's do this fast," Kate muttered.

"Sounds like a plan."

The cockpit section had shifted or fallen somehow, so that the incline of the aisle was no longer as steep as it had been, but it still sloped decidedly upward. Kate gingerly made her way up to the front seats, climbing up onto the edge of one and beginning to remove the overhead duffel bags.

"Jackpot!" Sawyer called gleefully from where he stood, further back. He held up a tiny bottle of Jack Daniels. Kate smiled and continued her exploration of the compartment. Jack, standing up in the back, looked around with distaste. "Let's just get all the bags outside...we can go through 'em later."

"What's 'a matter, Hoss? I thought you liked this corpse stuff." Jack ignored him and started pulling out luggage from the back.

"Here you go, sweetheart. Got something for ya." Sawyer held up a diaphragm pinched between his thumb and index finger, taken from a woman's purse.

"Oh my God, Sawyer! Do you know where that's been?" she wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"I got a pretty good idea," he smiled, looking at it appreciatively.

"You're sick," she said, trying not to laugh.

As he looked back at her, preparing a retort, his face froze in horror and the device slipped from his fingers, unheeded. "Shit," he muttered. "Kate, don't move!"

Jack looked up alarmed, and immediately saw what Sawyer had noticed. He tried to sound calm. "Kate, just stay right where you are...try not to move at all, okay!"

Startled by their warnings and by the looks of horror on their faces, she turned her head slowly in the direction they were staring. "Oh, God," she moaned in a low, terrified voice.

Coiled up on the ground, just inches below her foot on the cushioned seat, was a snake, with its head up, ready to strike.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

The three of them remained frozen in shock for what felt like an hour, but what must have been in reality no longer than ten seconds. The snake also remained motionless save for a barely discernible vibrating motion; its head still erect, still coiled in attack position.

"Can you shoot it?" Sawyer hissed at Jack.

"She's got the gun, remember?" he replied through clenched teeth.

Kate's knees were beginning to tremble. She was still balanced on the edge of the seat, hanging on to the overhead baggage compartment for balance, but it didn't look as if she could hold the position much longer. "Jack..." she cried softly.

The situation was terrifying, but not terrifying enough that Sawyer wasn't annoyed by the fact that she was calling for Jack. After all, he was closer. He looked around for something large enough to kill the thing with. Jack saw what he was doing and shook his head. "Don't make any sudden movements."

Simultaneously, Kate had lowered her right arm to the gun, which was sticking out of her jeans above her hip. As she gingerly withdrew it, Jack noticed the motion and said, too sharply, "Kate...don't!" The sound of his voice startled her. The events of the next few seconds occurred in a blinding flash and were visible only as a blur. She dropped the gun next to the snake; as it struck, Jack and Sawyer were already nearly at her side, and the snake had disappeared, wriggling at warp speed through a moss-grown gap in the side of the plane's exterior. Sawyer made a futile lunge after it with his foot, but it was no use.

She collapsed, breathing hard, onto the seat. Jack kneeled in front of her while Sawyer stood behind him, all of them looking as if they might faint.

"It's okay...it's okay. It missed. It didn't bite me."

Sawyer looked relieved, but Jack was skeptical. "Are you sure? I thought I saw it strike."

"Yeah, it struck...but it missed. It hit my shoe. Thank God." She leaned back, closing her eyes and trying to slow her breathing.

"Okay. Why don't you come outside for a minute...get some air."

She nodded. He helped her up, and she crawled back through the opening, followed by the two of them.

They sat down on some logs near the wreckage. Sawyer handed her a water bottle. "Close call, there, Freckles. I think that might have been a pit viper. They're deadly."

Jack looked concerned. "How would you know that?"

"Used to have a thing for snakes when I was a kid. Didn't you?"

"Dinosaurs," Jack answered, looking distracted.

Kate looked unnaturally pale as she sipped the water. She didn't seem to be listening to them. Jack watched her closely.

"You should probably take your shoe off and let me have a quick look, Kate. Just in case."

She looked irritated. "Why? I told you, it missed."

"I'm sure it did. I'd just feel a lot better if I could check and be certain."

"Jack, I think I would have felt it, don't you?" she asked, clearly tired of being babied.

"Just humor me then."

She looked at Sawyer, expecting him to support her like usual, but he wasn't backing her up this time. He looked concerned as well. "Doctor's orders, girl."

She sighed, replacing the cap on the water bottle and lifting her left foot up onto the log. She yanked her shoe off and let it fall to the ground, then rolled her sock down. There was nothing there. "See?"

As she prepared to pull the sock back up, Jack caught her leg and delicately rolled the cuff of her jeans up a few inches. The three of them looked down in horror at the two tiny pinpricks of red just above her ankle bone, spaced about an inch apart.

* * *

Sayid stepped gingerly into Sawyer's tent. "The coast is clear," he said playfully, motioning to Shannon. She stepped in behind him, looking around.

The sun had set, but there was still just enough daylight left to see by.

"Do you have any idea where it might be?" he asked her.

She looked as if the answer was an obvious negative. "I don't really visit here a lot."

"Then I guess we just start looking."

The two of them began going through bags and various storage containers.

"He would kill us if he knew we were doing this," Shannon said.

Sayid grinned mischievously. "Yes, and somehow that makes it so much more fun, doesn't it?" Shannon grinned back.

With a bemused look, Sayid held up a bra hooked on the end of his finger. Shannon rolled her eyes, but then said, "Hey, what size is that?" With a smile, he tossed it to her and continued to rummage through the bag.

After a few minutes Shannon yanked a bottle out of the side pocket of the tote bin she was going through and held it up to the light. "Need some hemorrhoid cream?"

"I'll take a rain check on that."

They continued to riffle through the contents of Sawyer's tent like kids in a candy store. Suddenly, Sayid spoke in amused shock. "Good God."

"What is it?"

"I'm too much of a gentleman to say."

Shannon jumped up eagerly and went to peer over his shoulder. "Ew! Why would any woman have had that with her _on a plane_?"

"I think the more important question is, why does Sawyer have it _now_?"

She covered her mouth with one hand and laughed hysterically, putting her other hand on his shoulder to keep her balance and finally collapsing on the ground next to him.

When they finally stopped laughing, they looked at each other tenderly. Shannon said in a grateful voice, "I'm really glad we decided to do this."

"So am I."

Looking closely into the corner of the bag he had been going through, Sayid seemed to notice something he hadn't seen before. "Wait a second." He reached in carefully and withdrew a book. Glancing at the cover, he handed it to her carefully. "Is this it?"

Taking it and turning it over, a shadow seemed to fall over her face. The sight of the book had an effect on her that she hadn't at all anticipated. Sayid watched her closely, reading the heartbreak written in her features.

With shaking fingers, she gently drew back the front cover of the beat-up paperback. In an unusually delicate male script were the words "Property of Boone Carlisle."

Her vision became blurred as her face crumpled into itself. She drew the book close to her chest and leaned her head over onto her knees. Harsh, jagged sobs were torn from her, sounding excruciatingly painful. Sayid, knowing he should probably leave her alone, but unable to, sat silently with his hand on her shoulder as the last traces of light faded away.

* * *

It was getting dark, and Charlie still wasn't back. Had she hurt his feelings that badly? The concept was so new to her that she wasn't really sure how to judge; she was _never _mean to people. Her fear for the baby was causing her to do and say things that she was ashamed of, but she felt that it was in some ways beyond her control. She wondered sadly if every mother felt like this after giving birth, and thought with a pang that there wasn't really anybody to talk to about it. She had never felt so alone.

Hearing footsteps approach, she looked up hopefully. Thank God, it was Charlie. Of course he wouldn't stay away just because of what she'd said. She felt silly for having even considered it. She noticed he had somebody with him. Straining her eyes to see in the falling darkness, she could just make out that it was Sun.

"Claire," he said breathlessly. "I tried to come back as fast as I could, but...she wouldn't run."

Sun smiled calmly and kneeled down next to Claire.

"How is he?" she nodded toward the baby, who was awake now, but not crying.

"It's spread all over him." Lifting the boy gently, she cradled him in her lap.

Charlie hovered over them nervously. "That's bad, right? I told you we should come faster...What do you think it is? Do you think there's anything you can do?"

Sun spoke to him gently. "Charlie. I need you to make a fire. It's getting too dark to see. Can you do that?"

"Yeah, of...of course."

They waited.

"Now, you mean?"

Sun smiled.

"Right." He went off distractedly, looking for wood.

Claire looked up from the baby, worried. "So...what _do _you think?"

Sun looked at him carefully, then glanced around the campsite area, focusing in on the spot Claire had lifted the baby from. She moved over closer and picked up the towel. "This towel...it is not...cotton?"

"No, I don't think so," Claire said, sounding embarrassed. "He, um...he had a little accident on the other one. I haven't washed it yet."

Sun nodded as if she had expected this. "I think...this material, he is...what is the word?"

"Allergic?" Claire supplied tentatively.

"Yes, allergic to it. You should not use it anymore."

"Oh," she said, breathing out in relief. "Is that all? God, I feel like such an idiot. What kind of mother would do something like that?"

Sun looked sympathetic. "I am sure it happens..all the time. You shouldn't feel bad." She withdrew a small vial from the pouch that she had brought with her. "This is a mixture from an herb...it will make the rash go away."

Claire nodded gratefully. "Thank you."

"But I should warn you...he won't like it."

Looking regretfully at her son, Claire sighed. "That's all right. He's been pretty quiet all day. He's probably due for a good cry."

Smiling, Sun gently began to apply the concoction to the baby's skin as he started a loud, continuous wail.

At the edge of the woods, Charlie, hearing the sound, dropped the firewood he was carrying and raced off like a madman.

* * *

"Shit." Sawyer muttered. He wiped his hand over his mouth nervously. "What I said earlier...I was just messin' around, Freckles. I don't have any idea what kind of snake it was. Hell, it probably wasn't even poisonous. Right?" he said hopefully, looking at Jack.

Jack looked at him, then up at Kate. "How do you feel, Kate?"

"Fine. I feel fine."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I mean, I'm still a little shaken up, but other than that..."

"That's good, right? If it was poisonous, she'd know by now, wouldn't she?"

Jack looked as if he didn't know what to say.

"Jack?" she asked softly.

"It's hard to tell. Depending on the amount of venom that was injected, it could take up to an hour or so to have an effect. If it wasn't poisonous, then...you'll probably just have an itchy ankle for a few days, like a mosquito bite. And...that's most likely what'll happen. This is a Pacific island, and it's not very big...there probably aren't many poisonous species."

"Thought you said you didn't know anything about snakes," Sawyer said under his breath.

Jack didn't answer, and he looked less than convinced himself.

"So...what should I do?"

"Nothing. There isn't really anything we can do until we know if it was poisonous." Jack looked defeated.

Sawyer stood up angrily and paced toward the plane and back. "Nothing? That's all you got? Well, thank God we got a doctor out here with us to sit around on his ass and give out useless advice! Hell, you might as well charge her for it while you're at it!"

"Sawyer," she said wearily. He sat back down heavily, looking sick.

She turned to Jack and swallowed nervously. "What kind of...symptoms? I mean, what should I be looking for?"

He tried to speak calmly, professionally. But there was a look of terror in his eyes. "Most likely nausea. Maybe stomach cramps. You might feel like you had some bad Mexican food." He tried to smile and failed.

"Jesus.." Sawyer rolled his eyes. "They teach you these cute little analogies in med school, doc?"

Jack looked at him lethally. "Look, I've had about as much of you as I can take.."

Sawyer interrupted him, talking over him, "Because so far, according to you, she's either got a mosquito bite or had one hell of a bad burrito. Funny, 'cause I seem to remember it being a little more serious than that!"

Jack stood up. "You want to see me take this seriously? Maybe if you shut your mouth more than once every hour the rest of us could hear ourselves think!"

"Oh, you think so, huh? Somehow I get the feelin' your thoughts ain't all that loud, Jacko. You probably ain't even really a doctor, are ya?"

"You son-of-a-bitch..." Jack moved toward him as Sawyer stood up, confrontationally. As he reached him, however, both were diverted by Kate's movement off to the side.

Leaning over the back of the log, she was throwing up all the water she had just consumed.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

Immediately forgetting about their near-physical confrontation, Jack and Sawyer both rushed over to Kate, who was pulling herself weakly back into a sitting position. Jack immediately went into action, actually appearing calmer now that the situation was critical than he had when he was unsure about it.

"Okay...it's okay, Kate. That means it was probably poisonous."

"_Probably_?" Sawyer said sarcastically.

Ignoring him, Jack went on. "So what we need to do now is to get your leg elevated, and I'm gonna have to bind it and get as much pressure on it as I can."

She was deathly pale and shaking, but she seemed strangely detached. "What'll that do?"

"It'll slow down the circulation of the poison through your bloodstream. The slower it moves, the less serious the effects'll be. So...Why don't you lie down here on the ground and put your foot up on this log, okay?"

She didn't move.

"Kate? It's really important that we elevate your leg right now."

With no expression, she slowly lowered herself onto the ground and allowed him to position her foot.

"Is that comfortable enough?"

"It's fine," she said calmly.

"Okay...I'm gonna get some strips of cloth from the plane to bind your ankle with, okay? I'll be right back. Try not to move."

He walked quickly toward the plane. Sawyer still watched Kate. He seemed to be rooted to the ground.

"Sawyer," Jack said. He looked up, blankly. "Give me a hand. We need to do this fast."

He joined him in the interior of the plane, where Jack frantically went through luggage in the near-darkness, taking out all the clothing he could find.

"Listen to me," Jack said curtly. "We've got to keep her as still as we possibly can. The best chance she has to fight this is by not moving. If I can bind the foot pretty tightly, then the venom might circulate slowly enough so that it won't hit her all at once. It's called pressure-immobilization - it's supposed to keep the poison under control until..." He stopped.

"Until what?"

"Ideally?" He paused. "Until we get her to a hospital and she can get an anti-venom injection."

"I don't suppose you got the recipe for the homemade variety, do ya?"

"There's no way to produce it out here...We'll just have to do without it."

"Is that possible?"

Jack didn't answer. He'd found a pair of panty-hose in a carry-on bag. "This'll work." He moved toward the exit. "I need you to get a fire going while I'm doing this. It's gonna be completely dark soon."

"Jack."

He stopped.

"She have a chance?"

He looked pained. "If she's still alive after four hours...then, yeah, she'll probably pull through."

Sawyer shook his head bitterly. "That the pep talk you give all your patients?"

"Just get a fire going." He went back out to Kate.

* * *

Shannon's crying finally tapered off, but she hadn't raised her head up yet. Sniffling, she mumbled, "Hand me that bra."

Confused, not knowing what she could possibly want it for, Sayid put it into her outstretched hand, and then tried not to smile as she blew her nose in it.

Finally raising her head up, she said in surprise, "It got dark."

"Yes."

She was embarrassed. "I didn't think that would happen."

"Well..." he said, sounding perplexed. "The sun went down..."

"No," she said, laughing. "No..I mean...what happened when I saw the book. I wasn't expecting that."

"Ah," he said, understanding. "It's all right. Sometimes objects can act as triggers to the emotions. Especially if it's something you haven't seen in awhile...something you associate with a specific person."

"Has that ever happened to you?"

"It has," he said, sounding as if he didn't want to go into detail. She didn't press him.

"I meant what I said earlier. I'm glad we did this. And I actually feel better now, believe it or not."

"I'm so glad." Leaning in, he kissed her gently, then pulled back. "Now, what do you say we get out of here and find a fire?"

"Good idea." Standing up, Shannon looked uncertain. "I think we might have made a mess."

"He can deal with it. He'll probably think it was another boar."

Smiling, she allowed him to take her hand, and they walked off down the beach.

* * *

"You still feeling sick to your stomach?" Jack kneeled down beside Kate.

"Just a little. No more puking though, if that's what you mean."

He nodded. Gently taking hold of her ankle from the log where it rested, he started to pull the cuff of her jeans up. He stopped, looking torn.

"Kate. I really hate to have to ask you to do this."

She closed her eyes and said sardonically, "You want me to take my pants off."

"I need to bind your whole calf...I don't think I can roll your jeans up that far."

She smiled slightly. "I always thought it'd be more romantic than this."

"I'm really sorry," he said awkwardly.

"Hold on a sec," Sawyer stopped piling logs and came over to them, extracting a pocket knife and pulling it open. "How 'bout this instead." He carefully made a slit at the bottom of her jeans and then ripped up the side of her pant leg from her ankle to her knee. "Not that I don't want to see you take your pants off, Freckles." He winked at her. "Just don't want you to have to do it for him."

She smiled weakly. "I really liked those jeans."

"Too bad," he said lightly, trying to mask his anxiety. "Nice try, doc." He went back to building the fire.

Jack hurriedly started using the panty hose to wrap her ankle and calf tightly. He looked ridiculously embarrassed. "I didn't know he had a knife..or I would have thought of that."

She still looked amused. "I believe you." Then, closing her eyes, she said, "I feel so tired."

He looked up, concerned. "You need to try to stay awake though, if you can, Kate."

"Okay," she said, not opening her eyes.

"Kate?"

"Hm?"

"Try to keep your eyes open, okay?"

"Okay," she said with her eyes closed.

He sighed. The first flames of the fire leapt up, crackling. Jack looked over in that direction. "Sawyer!"

"Yeah?" He came back over.

"Try to keep her awake while I do this. It'll be better if she stays conscious."

"How?"

"What do you mean, how? Just ask her questions!"

He kneeled down, looking stressed out already. He stared at her, wordlessly.

"Well?" Jack said, impatient.

"How the hell am I s'posed to know what to ask?"

"You've got to be kidding me. You've actually run out of things to say?"

"Hey, it's harder than it looks!"

"Fine, then don't ask her questions, just talk to her! I need to concentrate on this."

Sighing, Sawyer turned back to Kate.

"Hey, Kate. Kate!" He snapped his fingers. "Look at me, girl! I got something important to tell you."

Her eyes opened heavily, then closed again.

"You're never gonna believe what I just found out. Turns out Jack here? Used to be a woman." Her eyelids fluttered open again, and she looked confused and disoriented. "I know...I had my suspicions too..."

"Sawyer!"

"What! he said savagely. "Got her attention, didn't it?"

Jack shook his head, pissed off. "Only you. Only you could use this as an opportunity to make stupid jokes. She could die!"

"Whyn't you say that a little louder in front of her, there, Patch Adams! I don't think she quite heard you!" Now Sawyer was equally pissed off.

"Stop it," Kate muttered quietly, still without opening her eyes. They both turned to her, regretful. She rolled her head over to the side, and now seemed to be completely asleep. Jack finished binding her leg, tying the top off neatly. "Kate? Kate? Damn it."

"Want me to slap her?"

Jack considered. "No." He sighed. "Just let her sleep. I'll keep monitoring her breathing."

"I thought you said she should stay awake."

Jack didn't answer.

"Do you have any idea what the hell you're doin?"

"No! Okay? There isn't anything I can do, except try to revive her if she stops breathing. Whether she stays awake or goes to sleep...at this point, it probably doesn't make that much difference! There's _nothing I can do_. Is that what you want to hear, Sawyer!"

They stared at each other silently. Even though he'd basically already known this, they most certainly weren't words he wanted to hear. Swearing and kicking a log at the edge of the fire, he walked off brooding into the darkened woods. Jack turned his attention back to Kate, watching her every breath with all the muscles in his body tensed.

* * *

A stream of people made their way past Claire's tent, casting glances at her that ranged from sympathetic to furious. Anybody who slept anywhere near her was being forced to relocate, the howling baby ensuring that sleep would be impossible otherwise.

"I'm sorry," she kept repeating to random survivors. "I'm really sorry."

"Why do you keep apologizing to them, Claire?" Charlie asked, annoyed. "It's not like it's your fault or anything."

"I know...but still... Babies are annoying! Especially when they're not yours."

He looked at the fire, the sound of the crying clearly getting to him.

"Charlie...You don't have to stay, you know." She looked as if she felt bad. "You've done so much already...I'll understand. You should go and get some sleep."

He smiled. "I'm not tired."

"Are you sure?"

"You can't get rid of me that easily."

Claire looked grateful, nodding slightly. She looked up at the annoyed man walking past. "I'm really sorry, Scott!"

"I think that was Steve," Charlie whispered.

"I thought Steve died?"

"I thought Scott died."

They looked confused for a moment. Claire looked up again. "I'm really sorry, you guys!"

It was Sayid and Shannon.

"Sorry for what?" Shannon asked.

""Aren't you trying to get away from the sound?" She gestured toward the crying baby.

"We were just out for a walk," Sayid said. "No need to apologize."

"What's wrong with him?" Shannon looked worried, her face still softened from her crying spell.

"He had a little rash earlier...Sun applied an ointment, but it made him a little fussy. I don't know how long he'll keep it up."

Shannon seemed cold. "You mind if we sit down?" She looked at the fire.

"Oh! Of course!" Claire said, surprised and delighted that anyone, other than Charlie, would voluntarily come near her at the moment.

"It looks like you might be in for a rough night," Sayid said sympathetically as they sat down.

Shannon seemed to want to say something. "I don't think I ever told you congratulations...about the baby."

Claire seemed touched. "I think you had other things on your mind." She looked down awkwardly. "I'm so sorry about your brother." Shannon looked pained, but appreciative.

Suddenly, the baby's breath hitched and he almost immediately began to cry more softly. Claire bounced him slightly and whispered, "Shhhhhhh..." Looking more closely at Shannon, she asked curiously. "What is that?"

Shannon looked down at her hand where she held the book.

"It was my brother's. It was his favorite book," she said softly. "Watership Down."

Claire smiled sadly. "I used to like that one too." They were all quiet for a few seconds, with the exception of the baby. "That's one of the things...one of the _many_, things obviously, that makes me worried about this little guy, being on this island. You're supposed to read to them, right from the beginning. He won't have any books here."

Shannon stared at the fire, her eyes registering deep pain, anger, guilt, and remorse...but also something softer, more hopeful. She looked down at the book, and seemed to be struggling with something. Sayid watched her closely, not wanting her to experience any more heartbreak tonight but unwilling to interfere. Finally, she looked up at Claire, and said, almost in a whisper, "Do you want me to read to him?"

Claire, realizing almost instinctively what the book meant to Shannon, smiled gently. "I'd like that."

Tentatively, she opened the book, relieved that the pain wasn't as fresh this time. She turned to the first page, taking a deep breath and looking at Sayid, who watched her intently and lovingly. She started to read.

The three of them sat there, watching her, listening to her, spellbound. Nobody noticed that the baby had stopped crying, and that he now slept peacefully in Claire's lap as the words drifted over him.

* * *

Jack and Sawyer sat at right angles to the fire, with Kate lying between them, her foot still propped up on the log. Her breathing was occasionally jagged, but it hadn't stopped. They both watched her closely, the firelight illuminating their haggard, worried faces. Sawyer had retrieved the miniature bottle of whiskey from the plane.

"If I hadn't said anything," Jack muttered.

"What?"

"If I hadn't made her drop the gun. This wouldn't have happened."

Sawyer rolled his eyes and took a sip from the bottle. "You got one hell of an ego, don't you, brother? The snake bein' there..was that your fault too? How 'bout the plane crash...you want to take the blame for that one?"

"I never should have invited her out here in the first place."

"Christ." He took another sip. "Okay, maybe you're right. Hell, you want to believe you caused all this, who am I to argue?" They sat without speaking for a minute. Sawyer seemed to be considering.

"Heads up." Jack looked up in time to catch the liquor bottle. He looked at it for a minute gravely, then sighed and uncapped it, drinking and making a face.

"God, that's terrible."

Sawyer smiled. After a few seconds, he asked, "Any idea what time it might be?"

Jack shook his head, grimacing as he took another sip. "Why?"

"Just wonderin' if it's been four hours."

"I don't think so."

Silence. For awhile there was nothing but the crackling of the fire and the chirping of insects.

"Sawyer?" Her voice startled both of them enormously...she hadn't spoken or opened her eyes in hours. They looked at each other, surprised. "Sawyer!"

Getting up and going to kneel down next to her, Sawyer looked at her anxiously. Jack stood beside them, watching closely, concerned. She was looking around, disoriented and distressed. "Sawyer..."

"I'm here..I'm right here...Can you see me?"

She focused in on him and laid her head back down, seemingly relieved.

"How you feelin'?"

She looked at him searchingly, as if she was trying to figure something out. She spoke weakly, her voice almost inaudible. "You didn't kill it." She closed her eyes slowly, then opened them back up, watching him.

"What?" he asked, confused.

"The boar. You didn't shoot it."

With dawning realization, Sawyer began to look more disturbed.

"What's she talking about?" Jack asked quietly.

Sawyer looked at him, but didn't answer. His face was haunted. He looked back down at her, unsure what to say.

"Why not? Why didn't you kill it?" She looked as if the answer were the most important thing in the world to her.

Sawyer swallowed. "Kate..."

"Tell me." Her eyes were piercing, even though she was having a hard time holding them open.

"I will. I'll tell you the whole goddamn story, just as soon as you get to feelin' better. Everything you want to know."

"Promise?"

Looking positively tortured now, with glittering eyes and a ragged voice, he replied. "Promise."

"Okay." Her eyes closed again, and she appeared to be drifting off. As he started to move quietly away, however, she grabbed his hand. Making an effort to open her eyes, she looked at him again and tried to smile. "I'm glad you didn't kill it."

Unable to speak, he squeezed her hand in answer. She closed her eyes again, and this time her head rolled over slightly, her hand going limp. She was all the way asleep.

Sawyer stood up, looking shaky and upset.

"What the hell was that about?" Jack asked.

"Nothing."

"Sawyer..."

"I said nothing!" He spun around, angry. "She's hallucinating."

Jack looked as if he didn't believe him.

Trying to get his emotions in check, Sawyer wandered over to the plane. "I'm gonna look for some more bottles."

"In the dark?"

Ignoring him, he climbed in.

Jack sat back down, sighing. Noticing that Kate appeared to be cold, he covered her with one of the extra shirts he'd brought in his backpack.

"I'm sorry." Her voice startled him yet again. She seemed to be drifting in and out of consciousness with no transitions whatsoever.

"What?" He moved over nearer to her face. "What are you sorry for?"

"This was supposed to be your vacation. You wanted to get away."

He laughed quietly. "That's okay. You play a round of golf with me in a few days and we'll call it even."

She smiled and closed her eyes. "I can't golf." They looked at each other for a few seconds without speaking.

"Am I gonna die, Jack?"

He looked away. "Kate..."

"Just tell me the truth."

"There obviously wasn't a lot of venom injected...because otherwise..."

"I'd already be dead?"

"I think you're gonna be fine. You're awake...you're talking, and you're making sense. That's a good sign...a _really _good sign." He smiled at her.

Almost as if to prove him wrong, the next words she spoke floored him.

"Where's my ring?"

"I'm sorry?" He thought he must have misunderstood her.

"My wedding ring." She looked at her bare hand. "What did you do with it?"

"Kate..." he spoke carefully, tentatively. "You weren't wearing a ring when we came out here."

"You're not wearing yours either," she said with tears in her eyes.

Stunned and unnnerved, he didn't know what to say. Then, with a sickening feeling, it dawned on him that she was confusing him with someone else. He remembered the conversation they'd had after he'd given her what she wanted out of the marshal's case.

"What are you talking about, Kate? Do you know where you're at?"

"I'm so sorry." A tear slid down her face. "I never wanted to hurt you. I'm so sorry..." And then she was out again, like a light switch being turned off.

"Kate?" He remained sitting there for a minute, unable to move.

He heard Sawyer approaching behind him, but he didn't turn around.

"Ever mixed whiskey and vodka?" He stopped. "What happened?"

For a second he couldn't bring himself to say anything. He looked defeated. "You were right. She's hallucinating."

"What else did she say?" he said, still looking spent.

Jack shook his head, still lost in thought.

"You gonna tell me, or not?" Sawyer asked, fed up.

"Wedding rings. She thought I took her wedding ring." He refused to tell Sawyer the entire thing. "I don't know how much she was imagining. I don't know if she's ever been married."

"You don't? I do." Sawyer said slyly, looking like he felt better already.

"And how would you know that?" Jack said suspiciously.

"Because," he said, sitting down and opening up the bottle of vodka he'd found. "She told me."

"You care to share that information?"

"Well, now...I don't think it's really my information to share, is it? Maybe you oughtta ask her yourself." He smiled almost maliciously.

Jack shook his head. "You're unbelievable, you know that?"

Sawyer took a sip from the bottle. Quietly, he said, "It just burns you up, don't it?"

"What's that?"

He looked directly at Jack, his eyes glittering in the firelight. "That I know more about her than you do."

Furious, but unwilling to let Sawyer have an effect, Jack stood up slowly. Trying to keep his voice even, he said, "Watch her breathing. I'll be back in a minute."

He walked beyond the light of the fire, and Sawyer, smiling vindictively, took another long drink.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Sawyer's head drooped, the effects of the alcohol combined with the warmth of the fire hitting him faster than he'd expected. Suddenly, he jerked up, startled into alertness by a sharp cracking sound right near his foot. Jack had returned and thrown a log onto the fire as loudly as he possibly could. "Tired?" He looked at Sawyer laughingly.

"Bastard," Sawyer muttered, pissed off.

Jack sat back down. "Any change? Or were you too busy sleeping to watch her?"

"Yeah, I was watchin' her," he answered spitefully. "She's still breathin', ain't she?" He turned surreptitiously and looked to make sure she was, in fact, breathing. Relieved, he saw that she still slept easily.

"She woke up again. Said to tell you she knows you're wearin' her underwear and she wants you to stop."

Jack looked at him in shock, thinking he was serious. Sawyer looked down at the ground, grinning.

"Funny. Really funny, Sawyer. I'm glad this whole thing is so entertaining for you."

"You born without a sense of humor, doc, or did you just have it surgically removed?"

"I'm sorry, but it's a little hard for me to see the humor in all this!" He paused. "It never should have happened. I was so stupid," he said angrily.

Sawyer rolled his eyes, but didn't answer. They sat for a few minutes without speaking.

"She gonna be okay?"

Jack looked at her. "I think so. I'd say its been at least four hours, maybe five. She hasn't shown any signs of heart or kidney failure, and she's obviously not in a coma. She'll probably just wake up and feel like she's got the world's worst hangover."

Sawyer nodded, obviously relieved.

After awhile, Jack said, seemingly out of nowhere, "So...what did you do?"

"'Scuse me?" Sawyer replied, taken aback.

"For a living. Before the crash. You know what I did, obviously. What did you do?"

Sawyer sighed, irritated. "You really wanna make small talk?"

"You have any better ideas to keep us awake? And please don't say something disgusting."

He snorted derisively. "You wish."

"What's wrong, you don't want to answer? Because from your attitude and the way you treat people, I'm guessing you either worked for the Department of Motor Vehicles or the IRS."

"I was self-employed, okay?" Sawyer said bitterly, wishing he had another drink.

Jack laughed. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means..." he began scornfully, and then stopped. How the hell could he answer that one?

Jack waited.

"It means I made my own money. In my own ways," he said smugly, settling back against the log.

"Uh-huh." Jack looked amused. "And I'm guessing those _ways _weren't exactly legal."

Sawyer was pissed off. "Yeah, well, too bad we ain't all lucky enough to have mommy and daddy pay our way through med school."

"What makes you think that my parents paid for it?"

"Did they?"

Jack looked into the fire, not answering.

Sawyer nodded as if justified. "Must be nice," he said sarcastically.

"You want to know the truth? If I could do it over again, I'd never take their damn money. Every terrible thing that's happened in my life happened because I was too much of a coward to refuse it."

"Like what?" Sawyer asked, trying not to betray his curiosity.

"Well, for starters? If I hadn't become a doctor, my dad might still be alive," Jack said in a flat, sullen tone unusual for him.

Sawyer looked away from him into the fire, torn. He should tell him. Why the hell was he keeping it back? Why couldn't he just tell him about his father?

Jack waited for the requisite sarcastic remark, but it didn't come.

Sawyer sighed, finally deciding to just tell him and get it over with. Hell, it probably wouldn't make any difference, anyway. He took a deep breath.

Jack was watching him. "Why don't you just go ahead and get some sleep?"

His momentum checked, Sawyer was a little annoyed. "What!"

"We should sleep in shifts. That way we won't both pass out at the same time. Somebody needs to keep an eye on her breathing all night. I'll wake you up in a few hours and you can take over."

"You tryin' to get rid of me, by any chance?"

Jack seemed weary. "You really want me to answer that?"

Looking almost a little hurt, Sawyer smiled bitterly. There was no way in hell he'd tell him now. "Fine. Say two hours?"

Jack nodded, seeming distracted.

Sawyer took one more long, lingering look at Kate as she breathed softly, the rising and falling motion of her chest just barely visible in the firelight. He lay down a few feet away from her and closed his eyes.

Jack continued to stare into the fire.

------------------------

Shannon woke up cold, trying to pull her blanket up around her and then realizing she didn't have one. When she opened her eyes, the first thing she saw was Charlie. "What the hell?" Then she remembered... Boone's birthday, the book, and Claire's baby...it all came back. They must have all fallen asleep at some point. She reached underneath her and pulled out the book, still warm from her having slept on it.

Pulling herself up, she noticed that somehow, during the night, Charlie and Sayid had gotten ridiculously close to one another. Apparently, Charlie thought he was with Claire and Sayid thought he was with Shannon. She started to laugh and covered her mouth, not wanting to wake them up. She noticed Claire sitting down the beach near the water. Still laughing, she made her way out to her.

"Hey," she said, nearing her. Then she noticed that Claire was breastfeeding. "Oh," she said, turning her head, embarrassed. "I'm sorry...I didn't..."

"No, it's all right!" Claire said. "Really..stay!"

"Are you sure?" Shannon asked hesitantly, sitting down.

Claire smiled. "I can't really afford to be shy around this place. And besides," she said, looking at Shannon confidentially. "Kate delivered him, so...she's still seen more than you."

Shannon laughed, nodding. "That's true." She glanced back at the campsite. "Did you happen to see those two?"

Claire nodded, smiling. "It's times like these when you really miss having a camera around."

They looked out at the waves for a few minutes as the sun gradually came into view.

Shannon glanced at the baby. "He's growing fast."

"Tell me about it. I'm gonna have to start eating like a bear just to keep him happy."

Shannon looked wistful. "I was pregnant once." She picked up a handful of sand and let it trickle through her fingers slowly.

Claire looked at her, surprised, not sure what to say.

Shannon glanced up at her. "It's not what you think though. I didn't... I mean I didn't _have _to..." She stopped. "I lost it."

"I'm sorry," Claire said softly.

"Don't be. It was almost a relief, actually. The guy I was with...He was such an asshole. I think he did it on purpose."

"He hurt you?" Claire asked, looking sick.

Shannon nodded. "He hit me in the stomach. And then I had to keep Boone from trying to kill him, of course." She shook her head, almost smiling. "He would have just gotten himself killed." She paused, lost in thought. "It's just as well, though," she said, looking back at Claire. "I mean, what kind of mother would I have made, right?"

Claire looked down at the baby gently, and then back up at Shannon. "I used to think that too. I was so terrified when I found out...and then even more when I realized that I'd be alone. But now...I don't know. I wouldn't change it. Even the way things are, here... I don't know what I'd do without Charlie. He's such an amazing friend." She smiled back toward him.

"A friend, huh?" Shannon said, teasingly.

"For now," Claire said, almost blushing. "What about you two?" she asked, glancing toward the campsite again.

Shannon smiled secretively out at the waves.

"That's what I thought," Claire grinned.

"He's so different from the guys I've always been with. I actually think Boone would have liked him, if he'd just given him a chance." A slight shadow passed across her face. She glanced back down at the baby, and seemed tentative. "From what they said...it seems like...he was born pretty close to when Boone..." She paused.

Claire nodded. "Yeah...I think it was. Within a few minutes, even."

Shannon smiled softly. "Just one of those weird coincidences, huh?"

Claire looked thoughtful. "I don't really believe in coincidences."

"You don't?" Shannon asked quietly, intrigued.

"Mmm-mm." She shook her head slightly.

They both looked at the baby, who was now finished with breakfast and had fallen asleep.

"Will you come back and finish the book sometime? He's dying to know how it ends. I can tell."

"You can?" Shannon asked, smiling.

"Definitely," Claire said. "The door's always open. Well, you know..if I _had _a door, it would be open." She smiled goofily.

"Okay." They looked at each other almost gratefully.

Then they both burst out laughing as Charlie's just-awakened, irate voice drifted down from the campsite. "For God's sake, man, get off of me!"

------------------------

Sawyer opened his eyes, seeing the trees and the gradually lightening sky above him and wondering for a second where he was. Then he remembered, and became angry at himself. He must have fallen asleep on his shift. Turning to check on Kate, he was almost startled out of his skin to discover that she was watching him.

"Hey," she said weakly.

He sat up quickly and moved nearer to where she lay on the ground, noticing that Jack still slept a few feet away.

"Hey. How long you been awake?"

"Not long. How's your foot?"

"What?" He was confused, and realized with a sinking feeling that she might still be disoriented. Maybe she wasn't out of the woods yet.

"From the thorn. You think you're gonna make it?"

Looking at her closely, it dawned on him with almost indescribable relief that she was mocking him. There was a gleam of amusement in her eyes.

He breathed out slowly as the tension melted away. "Tell you the truth, I'm a little more worried about yours. How 'bout we wake the doctor up and see how you're doin'?"

He moved toward Jack, but she stopped him. "Let him sleep a little longer. He must have been awake all night." She looked over at him tenderly.

"You scared the hell out of us, Freckles." Sawyer looked at her seriously.

"I'm sorry. Was it pretty bad?

"You don't remember anything?"

"I remember being in the plane, and the snake. And then...throwing up." She looked at him, embarrassed. "Did I really throw up?"

"Just a little. Don't worry, though...my lips are sealed." he said, smiling. He paused, wanting to talk about what she'd said last night, but unsure how to bring it up. "You don't remember anything after that?"

She appeared to be thinking. "I think I must have been having weird dreams all night...I don't know what was real and what wasn't."

He looked away, hesitantly, and then back down at her. "You asked me a question...somethin' you said you wanted to know. I promised I'd tell you."

"What was it?" she asked, confused.

He was disappointed. To his surprise, he actually wanted to explain himself to her now, and she couldn't even remember having asked the question.

"Forget it. It's not important."

She looked at him searchingly. "I can't remember it...but I bet I know what it was."

"Yeah? What?"

She smiled slightly. "I don't need to ask again."

"Why not?" he asked, somewhat relieved but also strangely let down.

"Because. I just realized I already know the answer."

He looked at her closely, intrigued. Did she remember? Or was she thinking of something else? What answer did she think she knew? They watched each other, neither one quite brave enough to break down the barriers they had erected around themselves.

"Kate?" Jack's voice was surprised, almost unbelieving. He sat up, blinking in the light. He moved quickly over to her, instinctively putting his fingers gently on her neck and checking her pulse before he did anything else.

She smiled patiently. "Am I still alive?"

He laughed as if a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. "Looks that way, doesn't it? You gave us a good scare, though."

"So I heard," she said, looking at Sawyer.

"How do you feel now?" Jack asked.

She closed her eyes. "Mmm... We didn't all get drunk last night, did we?"

"_You _didn't," he answered, looking pointedly at Sawyer. Sawyer returned the gaze, witheringly.

Kate smiled. "Because I feel like I have a hangover."

"What do ya know, doc? You got one right. Guess third time's the charm, huh?" Sawyer said in a snide voice.

Kate looked at Jack. "I don't get it."

"Don't worry about it. It wasn't that funny." They smiled at each other. Sawyer looked annoyed. "You want to try to sit up?"

"Yeah."

Sliding his arms underneath her back, he gently helped support her to a sitting position.

"Whew..." She clung to him for a second, closing her eyes.

"Dizzy?"

"Just a little." She leaned her head against his shoulder for a second, and he tried to look as if this didn't affect him.

When the spell passed, she let go of him tentatively and looked around. "I actually don't feel that bad, considering."

"Want some water?" Sawyer asked.

"That'd be good," she said, looking at him gratefully. He went to get some from his backpack.

Kate looked at Jack, then down at her foot. "Can we take this thing off?"

"Let's wait till we get back to camp. Once the wrapping comes off, your ankle's gonna ache like a bitch, so..." He stopped, noticing that she was trying not to laugh at his choice of words. "What?"

"You've been around Sawyer too long," she said with a smile.

He nodded, smiling back at her. "I couldn't agree more."

Sawyer returned, kneeling down with the bottle of water. "Here you go, Freckles."

"Thanks." She took it and drank as if she was completely parched.

"Not too much, Kate," Jack said, concerned. She kept drinking. "Kate..." She still ignored him. "Okay.." He took the bottle from her, gently but firmly.

"What the hell are you doin'?" Sawyer said angrily. "Can't you tell she's thirsty?"

"If she drinks too much at once it'll upset her stomach again."

"How 'bout you just let her decide for herself for once?"

"You want her to be sick? That's really responsible of you!"

Kate shook her head, rolling her eyes. "Oh my God...Have you two been doing this all night?" They looked at her, a little sheepish. "Never mind...I don't want to know."

Sawyer said, somewhat sullenly, "You might as well give her the rest of the water, because that's all there is. It's the last bottle."

Jack looked irritated. "What do you mean it's the last bottle?"

"You really need me to translate that?" Sawyer looked at him as if were retarded.

"What happened to the rest of the water?"

"Well, between drinkin' it and throwin' it up, we kind of went through a lot yesterday, Jackass, " he said sarcastically.

Jack sighed. "We need to get back to the caves, then. I don't want to take a chance on you getting dehydrated." He looked at Kate anxiously. "I guess we'll just have to carry you."

"No." She shook her head decisively. "Nobody's gonna carry me. I can walk. I'll be fine."

"Kate...you can't put very much pressure on that leg. You haven't even tried to stand up yet."

"So I'll try." She placed her hands on the ground to prepare to stand, but then looked regretfully toward the cockpit, as if remembering something. "What about the stuff from the plane? That's the whole reason we came out here, Jack."

"It can wait. It's not important at all right now. What's important is that you're okay." They looked at each other almost shyly.

"You two want to be alone?" Sawyer asked contemptuously.

Kate looked at him, rolling her eyes. "Help me up," she commanded, holding her arms up. He grasped her upper arms and carefully pulled her to a standing position as she balanced on her right leg. She stood there for a second, getting her bearings, then looked at Jack tentatively.

"Okay," she said, taking a deep breath. "Here goes nothin'." She took a small step forward, putting her left leg down and attempting to shift the balance onto it. It collapsed under her almost immediately, and Jack and Sawyer both dove to catch her.

"Okay, Kate...That's not gonna work," Jack said.

"Wait. Just..wait a second. I wasn't ready that time."

"Kate..."

"Just give her a chance, all right?" Sawyer glared at him.

Delicately, she tried again to place some weight on the leg, but her knee buckled again.

"Damn it!" she said, furious.

"All right, Kate," Jack said softly, realizing how much it pissed her off to have to rely on somebody else. "If you really want to try to walk..." He looked at Sawyer wearily, as if he'd rather do anything in the world than say what he was going to say. "Then we can try to support you on both sides so you can put all your weight on your right leg."

Sawyer didn't look extremely thrilled at the prospect, either. It would force him to be one foot away from Jack for the entire trip back. When he looked at Kate, however, he immediately gave in. "That sound all right to you, sassafras?"

She sighed, sympathizing with his reservations. "We don't really have any choice, do we?" She held out other arm, reluctantly. Swinging her backpack, along with his, onto his shoulder, he linked his arm in hers and tried not to look at Jack.

"Ready?" Jack asked, smiling down at her.

"I guess we're off to see the wizard," she said in a dry tone.

"You start singin', I'm outta here," Sawyer said warningly.

She laughed. "Duly noted."

They took a few hesitant steps, Kate gradually figuring out how best to distribute her weight and keep her balance. With her arms linked in theirs, the three of them slowly made their way out of the clearing and headed back to the caves.

**THE END**

**(I just wanted to make clear, for anyone checking back on this, that it was completed last April after 6 chapters - it was my first fic, and it was really just a trial to see if I could handle the characters. It was never meant to go beyond 6 chapters. I realize it was confusing because I didn't add a "The End", plus I forgot to change the status to "complete." Sorry for the confusion!)**


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